Would you forgive a cheating partner? Either in a relationship or marriage? I really don’t know what I’d do. What about in a scenario where you love this person so much and yet they cheat under your very eyes, like no shame, no respect, no loyalty and they throw around the clause of “open relationship” just to make them less guilty; can you stay in such a relationship/marriage if you loved this person more than life? I think you would.
Love is the craziest and raddest drug out there and can make you take crap you ordinarily wouldn’t. If you do manage to take back control of your sanity at the expense of your love, you’d nearly die of heartbreak and live an eternity of ‘what ifs’.
But, the ‘what ifs’ matter not because now you know the difference in falling in love and walking in love. Well if you don’t I’d tell you.
Falling in love is being cheated on and taking it because you love this person more than you love yourself seeing as he or she might contract an STD and pass it on to you in the name of ‘Love’. Lots of people got and are still getting HIV that way.
Walking in love means loving yourself enough to walk alone rather than fall for the whims and caprices of being used you like a fool.
What these men had to go through was just wrong on all levels.
Live Love, Learn.
Here they are:
So I guess I just really need to get this one off my chest. I was in love with this girl. we dated for about 3 years, and I actually thought I was going to marry her some day (naïve I know). About 1 year into it, I found out she had cheated on me with this guy, and I was really upset, but she said it wouldn’t happen again, and I was dumb enough to believe her.
All was good for about another year and a half, then she left me for some other guy, and I found out she had been with several other people behind my back. a few months later, She begged me to be with her again. I knew at that point it would only happen again, but I loved her and thought that she would get tired of sneaking around eventually, so I said yes. Only to find out months later that she had been sleeping with my best friend for over a year, the guy who would comfort me while I was upset about my girlfriend, and the whole time they were just laughing at me behind my back.
So I lost both my best friend and my girlfriend in the same day. It sucked.
She asked me to get back with her again the other day, and for the first time, I felt absolutely nothing. for the first time in almost 5 years, I feel nothing when I think of her. No love, no pain, no anger, and no desire to be with her, even if it means I end up alone. I feel so relieved. I’m putting it on here, because my family never knew about our relationship, so I had to keep it all in, both the good and the bad, and I just wanted to say how glad I am that it’s over.
I have been with my girl friend for over 3 years now and its been the best/worst time of my life. She cheated on me with her ex boy friend and she lied about it I had to find out from him that they had slept together seven times, we ended after that but she came to me begging me to take her back so I did. That was a year ago.
Today I surprised her with a new iphone so I was gonna use her old phone as a mp3 for work and there was a pic of her on the phone that looked really nice so I looked at the rest and I found out she had been sending pics of herself naked and videos of her playing with her self to other guys so I told her to **** off and left her.
Now she has been messaging saying she is sorry and she misses me I still love her but I don’t trust her I don’t what to do.
My wife and I have been married for 16 years. She has always been a social person and very friendly. I thought this was a great quality especially coming from the abuse she dealt with as a child. That abuse has caused her to have very deep control issues that for the most part I am alright with. I really don’t have a need to control things.
To me she is the most beautiful woman and I love her more than I thought possible.
When our son was born 3 years into our marriage my whole world changed. He was my total focus and I stopped doing the little things that showed I cared about my wife. After several years of that we drifted apart and forgot about the relationship.
After getting laid-off, I got a new job within a few weeks that paid just enough. But I hated the people I worked with. Shortly after getting this new job she let me know that she was going on a girls trip to Vegas. This pissed me off. But after I didn’t say a word. So I started looking at **** again. This time I actually started talking to people online. I even responded to an ex-girlfriend on facebook. A little while later I she got a job. And things were just OK. I continued to do my thing and she went out with her friends. But my focus was still being a dad.
Four years ago I got that feeling. The one in the pit of your stomach that doesn’t go away. I knew she was doing something. So I bugged her phone. Within a week I saw text messages between her and a friend about a guy she worked with. it sounded like she really had feelings for this guy.
I threw some accusations at her right before I left for hunting camp. The next day while on top of a mountain I checked my messages. She had left a dozen or so voice mails that were over the top angry. I hurried and packed up and drove home. When I got there all my belongings were stuffed into garbage bags. She had gotten into my email, laptop and facebook. She found the conversation I had with an ex and saw that I was looking at **** and chatting with people on swingers websites. I had another affair in her eyes. I moved out for 2 months. Forgetting about the guy from her work.
I went to counseling and really worked my *** off to become a better person. I read many marriage books and worked hard to earn her trust back. I have given her goal access to everything. I moved back in December 2011. We went to marriage counseling and continued to go on my own. Spring of 2012 she hit me with this plan of hers.
She said that she couldn’t forgive me twice but didn’t want to ruin everything we have worked for. She wanted to live her life and I would live mine. She didn’t want to know what I was doing and she wouldn’t tell me what she was doing. I never fully agreed to this.
I told her that if that is what she needed then she could have it. But I was staying committed to her and our family. I continued to work on me and focus on giving her what she needed. I daily told her and showed her that I loved her. Work became better, I felt better about me and I had a goal of winning her back.
We had struggles and hard times but for the most part it started feeling like we were getting back.
2 years later she really wanted to quit her job and stay home. I agreed and our relationship really began to improve.
July 2015 I had surgery and was in bed. She handed me a bunch of old cellphones and asked that I go through them and decide which ones to keep and throw the others away. While doing this I found texts between her and some guy on an old phone. I questioned her about it and she played it off as old high school friends. I got that feeling again.
So I kept questioning her and she finally told me a partial truth. That she had dated a few guys and slept with someone during this don’t ask don’t time period. I freaked out internally and started to question everything.
After several weeks of talking more came out. The guy from work she had a 2 year affair with and they had sex allot. The first guy she told me about lasted for three months. And according to her everything stopped in August of 2013. The same time she quit her job.
Now I can’t trust her. So I pull all of her phone records going back to 2014. There are allot of calls and texts with this high school friend. Mostly during times when I’m not home. I still have the feeling that I’m being lied to.
So I bug her phone again. I find out that she has slept with 4 people during this time and one of them was this high school friend. When I confront her about lying she becomes extremely defensive and says that I agreed to an open marriage and why would I ruin what we have had for the past 2 years with things that don’t matter.
She has held this mindset since then. I don’t want a divorce but I feel like I’m married to a serial cheater. I feel like I’m betraying myself because I still love her.
I found out last month that my first love, the girl I loved with all my heart cheated on me. I never in a million years would’ve thought that she would do something like that.
Worse yet she told me it was my fault cuz I was depressed. Stupid thing is, is that I really feel like it was my fault. I hate her so much but I hate myself too.
Ex girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me, it mentally and physically broke me, now I was already dealing with anger issues and depression at this time, she added to it.
Ended up fighting the boy she cheated on me with, breaking up with her and falling further into deep major depression.
It hurt so much and it has left me scarred in the fact I can’t have a relationship because of the thought of getting cheated on again is too much for me to handle.
So few years ago now I was with a girl for 2 years and she had a kid with her ex. Well at first everything was all good for like the first 8 months and then she started hanging out with her (ex) under the story that it was good for the kid bla bla bla.
I kind of just let it go because I didn’t have solid evidence that anything was going on but then I kinda got paranoid because her friends started referring to her as some other name and I looked up the name on Facebook and there it was, a whole other page that she used in which she talked about her affair with her ex ( the things they did, photos together kissing etc).
So I confronted her about it all and it turns out that for almost a year and a half they were back together. Strangely enough too, I found out that 7 months after I ended it with her, she had a kid with said ex.
So I don’t think I have ever been not cheated on, last time it was my girlfriend of three and a half years. I love her but I only had the strength to break up with her. She’s depressed and alone because of some choices she made and at times I think I’m all she has. I was and still am there for her but I hurt so badly.
I was saving up for a ring so that by the time we finished school I could ask her to marry me, now… that future is gone. I think it hurts so much because I love her, and its been months and I love her more than ever.
I won’t ever be with her again and I’m not sure how long it will take me to move completely on. I never deserved a girl like her but I am not particularly good person.
You should never be in a relationship or marriage where you are not happy with each other. Forever is not for everyone. Sometimes we get clouded on what forever should be and forget that it’s a daily journey together.
We don’t just appear into forever. We have to take it one step at a time and those baby steps come with lots of troubles and drama. It’s just about being loyal enough to love and hold who you have chosen or accepted to love and to hold.
It’s hard, yes, but it’s possible. Don’t settle for less.
If your woman is acting out, call her to her senses. Life s too short to be in a sad marriage.